I stand out today because I am wearing brand-new black jeans.
The last time I wore new black jeans to work was in August 2000. They were very, very black. The next time I wore them was a week later, after I'd washed them. They had emerged from the laundry somewhat less black, betraying a few faded streaks and creases. In fact, after a few more washes I began to worry that I resembled the shaft end of a before-and-after colorfastness experiment.
Here is a random list of things to which the blackness of my jeans might be compared:
The depth of night
My eternal soul
The creepiest corner of my laundry room where spiders dwell
The sleep of death (what dreams may come, etc.)
Merry Christmas to All!