Monday, October 24, 2005

NaNoWriMo is terrifying me. The closer November 1 gets, the more convinced I am that anything I write will be incredibly embarrassing. I have nothing planned. I have no ideas, just half-formed glimmers of idea fetuses.

I'm apparently going to show up on November 1st's doorstep naked and empty-handed, hoping for charity's sake that arrangements have been made to hook me up with a stray plot (or at least a handful of characters).

I would love to tell you I haven't written anything fictional in years and that's what's holding me back, but of course that's not true. I blog, that counts…some elements of most everything I write are fictionalized, you know, uh, to protect the innocent and all that. And writing fiction at work is my specialty! Well, fiction may be too strong a word. Gary calls it "benefeature" writing – turning lame-ass product features into compelling and exciting benefits. (I love him, for he is the coiner of all terms humorous.)

I just need to convince myself that no one ever has to actually read my fetal novel. The problem is, secretly I do want people to read it. I want hundreds of people to read it and tell me lies about how good it is. That's exactly what I want from you, lies. False praises and lies. The more transparent the better.

Feel free to lie about how much you love my blog, as well. Right now. Go.

The comments button is RIGHT THERE, PEOPLE.

10 comments:

EverydaySuperGoddess said...

Holy God I am in exactly the same place, and thank you for saying so because now I feel so much less ALONE...

quantumtea said...

You have one week. Keep a notebook with you, read the international news websites, and something will strike you as odd. That's a plot point, or a character. You can do this! You really can. Come to the launch party next Sunday (Barnes and Noble at Ladue, 3-5pm) and there will be plenty of other people just like you. There will never be another opportunity to shirk the household chores like this again, at least not until next November!

Carole said...

I "heart" you, I "heart" your blog, and I will most definitely "heart" your attempts at fiction!

red fish said...

I enjoy your writing in your blog, and I know I'd enjoy a novel you wrote. No lie.

Aunt Murry said...

I love your blog...and I'm not programed to lie. I have it book marked for a reason. Te worse thing you could do is not try. Dammit! Now I have to follow my own advice.

Jane said...

I won't lie to you. I love your blog, too. I agree with everything Mary said!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog too! Even though I have trouble reading it at my desk because I either laugh or cry. (the entry awhile back about the guy and the golden retriever had me sobbing)

Lori D

Anonymous said...

I also love your blog. I check it everyday to see if you've updated it. I wish you would write your novel here and I'd read it too. :)

skywind8 said...

You already write far better than the vast majority of people out there.

Your fiction cann't suck too badly. ;)

Or for a bit more perspective - this is the creative-generation phase. The editing and polishing comes later. Anybody who writes something of that size needs significant editing to get it to the professional level we're used to seeing, and that's not done alone. But first you have to generate the ideas.

kymberlieblue said...

you? you are fabulous. i've read your blog, you will be spectacular. *hug*

hey by the way, got any novel ideas to spare? just one, come on. you're pretty!