Thursday, October 13, 2005

You know, sometimes I entertain myself by thinking about where I was and what I was doing half my life ago. I'm 29 now and half my life ago I was just starting high school.

I know a lot of people enjoyed their high school career, but I really did not. I was nerdy, chubby, and socially backward. I spent most of it engaging in compensatory behaviors and hence dodging referrals to the counselor's office. I can't even tell you how glad I was to get away from the set of mean, snide, privileged, self-satisfied brats with whom I shared way too much personal space five days a week.

Not that work doesn't have its moments, but for the most part...

Top ten reasons why my job is way better than high school

  1. When someone passes you in a narrow hallway while you're carrying an armload of papers, you don't have to worry that the other person is going to smack them down.
  2. When another female tells you she likes your hair today, she's probably not being sarcastic.
  3. You can eat lunch all by yourself if you feel like it.
  4. You don't have to bring a note from your mother in order to get out of any physical activity.
  5. Teams and partners are assigned.
  6. There are no motherfucking pep rallies.
  7. I have a picture of Legolas on my wall, and people are still willing to be seen with me.
  8. There are no loud bells, buzzers, alarms, broadcast announcements, or public prayers.
  9. I no longer have to remember a locker combination.
  10. If you feel something brush the back of your head during a meeting, it's probably not a spitball.


Hooray for being grown up (mostly).

4 comments:

Skywind said...

Unfortunately #6 is not always true.

Work pep rallies, when they do occur, are just as bad as the school ones.

But the rest is quite familiar and definitely appreciated for me too.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, #1 is not guaranteed if the person you happen to be passing in the hall has the initials MP. You know who I mean. He tried to knock a pile of job jackets out of my hand as we passed in the hall just yesterday.

Mindy said...

I so agree, heck half of college wasn't so fun for me...sober college days are only so fun...
here are some additions
11. No need to see people making out in hallways.
12. No dirty messeges in bathroom stalls...oh wait those were entertaining.
13. No mandatory swim class and "ear infections"
14. No filling in the dots on days of standardized tests.
15. No getting sports clothing worn by other atheletes for years before, and being the only one needing a large instead of a small.
16. The science of sports bras have come a long way.
17. No having to convince parents to let you stay home when you feel sick.
18. No walking into bathrooms while a herd of girls are using aerosal hairspray thus choking you to death.
19. No more school buses
20. Mom can't make me join band anymore and drag those freaking instruments around all day while my carry 50 lbs of books on my back while losing all shoulder circulation thus becoming the poster child of US Dork Nation.

Elizabeth said...

Well... mostly.

I once had a set of colleagues in their mid to late 20's that spent their lunches deciding who in the office was "socially well adjusted" and who not, and ostracising those on the not-list. In their defense, they did finally grow up, and took a colleague (from the not-list) under their wing when he was showing signs of succumbing to alcoholism.