Monday, December 19, 2005

Here's my biggest problem with this time of year. It's cold. I'm cold. And being cold makes me crabby. Therefore, the answer is yes, I am the ice bitch.

You might think the answer to the cold problem would be putting on an extra sweater. But then my fingers are still cold. And what about my feet? So I put on two pairs of socks and a pair of gloves.

This is inside, mind you. The thermostat says 72. But it lies. So does the fact that Gary is wearing a t-shirt. He's just acting tough.

So then, I stumble around the house in my three sweaters, four socks, and clumsy gloved fingers feeling utterly ridiculous and uncomfortable until my dry skin starts to itch, and then I rip off several layers to get to my fingernails. But then immediately my fingers freeze again and I'm wondering how my toes can possibly remain individually frozen blocks of ice inside all of those socks. It's like they bring their own refrigeration unit to the party.

From about mid-October through late April, I can't get warm. I have three extra blankets on my side of the bed, slipper socks, sweatshirts, fleece pants, and a robe. I'm wrapped in a layer of cold, and anything I put on just traps the cold in next to my skin.

If you see me sitting in a parked car in the heat of August with the windows rolled up and a silly smile on my face, it's because I'm finally starting to get the feeling back in my extremities.

Gary promised me we can move to a warmer climate as long as there are good bike trails nearby. Arizona, maybe? New Mexico? I like lizards…


Aunt Murry said...

I used to be like you until the hot flashes started and now I have my own personal summers. I am the only person I know that can drive around in below freezing temps with the A/C on. Just wait a few years and you will be warm beyond belief!

landismom said...

Yeah, I work at home, and you should see me sitting here with my Dickensian fingerless gloves on, typing away, because I'm too cheap to turn the heat way up when I'm the only one here. I hate winter!

sara said...

I am delurking because I have the same problem and I practically live in the South, so I am sure you are suffering even more. The answer is...a heated mattress pad. Yes, from now on you will have to conduct all your affairs from bed as though you were an imperious ruler, but isn't that why people have families? To fetch things for them, like mugs of hot cocoa and magazines? Actually, I've been known to hop in, warm up, then climb back out, since it's hard to load the dishwasher from bed. And of course it's great for sleeping on, too. 100 bucks at Bed Bath & Beyond or somewhere like that. Totally worth it.