Stitchpop

Belated birthday greetings to my little brother D who turned 27 on Wednesday. D has just taken a job as assistant manager at a very large chain drugstore location, and so I'm very proud of him and I hope he doesn't have to take too much crap from bitter old ladies who would rather argue for three hours before paying eight cents more than the sale price of Metamucil as stated in the weekly ad.

I used to be a register girl at said chain drugstore, and very nearly had to bite my own hand a few times to keep from gouging out their bitter, old eyeballs. Good times.

The thing I've recently learned about D is he's allergic to aluminum, which means he avoids all products containing any amount of it. As I understand it, this means he can eat mainly garlic and broccoli, bathe in distilled water, and wear clothing hand-woven from natural fibers he's cultivated himself in a small, sterile brick pot of toxin-free soil. Deodorant? Um, no.

Talking to my mom, he's not minding the lifestyle change a bit because it's such a relief to be free of all the allergy symptoms. I guess if I were losing my hair and scratching my skin off too, I might gladly say farewell to processed cheese. Well, not gladly.

But the problem I'm having is we're celebrating his birthday at my folks' tomorrow, and I always bring desserts to birthdays. Fabulous, creative desserts. This whole allergy thing sounded to me like a challenge.

"What kind of flour can I use?" I asked my mom. "What about whole wheat flour?"

"He doesn't really eat anything that's processed at all," she said.

"Dairy?" No.

"Soy?" No.

"Raw sugar?" Probably not.

"Christ. Is he outside right now gnawing the bark off a tree for sustenance?" Well, he has lost about 30 pounds...

"Fruit???"

Yes! D can eat fruit. It's not terribly creative, but a simple fruit salad is topping my list right now. I wonder if walnuts contain aluminum.

I wonder how well tree bark would work as a binding agent.