Did you know that after my wedding day, on which I wore a white, lacy, sequined, beaded, floofy wedding dress that I loved, I took off that dress and shoved it into a large, white trash bag?
Not immediately, or anything. Just after it had been hanging in my closet for five years and I wanted the closet space back. That's five years of staring at it every freaking morning, people. And feeling guilty that I hadn't yet bothered to have it professionally cleaned and preserved, which I guess is what you're supposed to do.
Did you know I would have had to pay in the neighborhood of $187 to have it cleaned?
Did you know I bought the dress on eBay from a wedding shop closeout for $200? I mean, come on. It's not like my daughters are going to wear it on their wedding day.
Um.
Recently Gertrude has discovered Our Wedding. She pores over the photo album. She wears Matilda's flower girl dress. She begs to try on my ring. Her eyes light up when she sees pictures of me in the wedding dress.
"Oh, Mom! You look so beautiful in this dress! I just love this dress. I'm going to wear that dress when I get married to Daddy."
Oh, did I forget to mention? She's entirely convinced she's going to marry her daddy. Not a man like her daddy. Him.
I knew the Daddy worship was strong in our house, but I didn't realize it was this strong.
"Sweetie, you can't marry your Dad."
"Yes, I can."
"But he's already married."
Gertrude thought for a moment and mused, "You can't be married to two people..."
"Not in these parts."
Gert had an ah-ha moment and held up her finger. "You will have to find a different man to marry."
"But…!" I protested.
"That's okay, Mommy," she said, with earnest sympathy. "I'm sure you will find someone."
Was that the sound of a wedding dress laughing at me from inside its little trash bag cocoon?
3 comments:
Heh. Just this morning, my daughter noticed my wedding purse (which I had pulled out of the closet to give to goodwill), and immediately commandeered it.
Why did I even feel the need to have a wedding purse?
I put mine back in the bag from whence it came and put it in a closet. We just celebrated our 13th anniversary. Now I don't feel *quite* so guilty...at least I'm not the only one. (I got mine at the JC Penney outlet/place at Jamestown Mall and paid a similar amount (maybe less than the cleaning, even) for it.
My neice, back when she was 4 ('bout 2 years ago), informed her mom one morning before preschool that she needed to wear a dress and tights and needed her hair curled so she could look really pretty. When her mom asked her why, she announced, "Because I'm getting married today." When her mom asked her who she was going to marry, she said, "Oh, I don't know, I'll figure that out when I get to school." I truly hope that's not a portent of things to come! And, she also had decided before that incident that she would marry her papa. I guess it's just what little girls do! She could do worse -- my brother is an amazing man and I would jump in front of a bullet to save his life. Too bad my sister-in-law is completely unaware of this fact and bitches at him nonstop. Poor guy.
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