It's okay, I'm still alive!
But I'm sure you knew that, because if you read Gary's site you surely know that he wouldn't be talking about a zebra penis if his wife had just checked out. Not right away, at least.
I'm not going to say anything about the new pope, because no matter how unCatholic a person may be, it's just not right to mention any religious leader, including Benedict XVI, in the same post as a zebra penis. The fact that I have just done so is merely my own little "score one" for the altar boys. End of nondiscussion.
I was brought up Catholic, and I attended 12 years of Catholic school. When I think about how much money my parents spent on tuition they couldn't afford, it makes me sad. They really couldn't afford it. We were always in debt, and I went to school with a bunch of stupid rich kids who made me feel like crap for wearing K-Mart tennis shoes with my plaid uniform. And they dragged us to church every morning where the other kids would laugh at anyone who even half-assed participated in the service. I went to 3 different Catholic grade schools and Catholic high school, and the climate was the same. It was cold, oppressive, cliquish, and uncaring. Anyone who had a problem fitting in or doing well academically was made to feel like they were the problem.
I'm sure my parents are still paying off that education, and I'm still trying to feel okay about myself.
Every time I hear anyone with a conservative political agenda talk enthusiastically about the "Catholic youth" I feel a little bit like throwing up. But I guess that's just me.