Friday, September 23, 2005

A friend of mine asked if I wanted to take a belly dancing class with her.

Belly dancing has so many things going for it. It appears to be loads of fun and great exercise. It involves the wearing of glittery things. I love dancing! Oh how I love it, although I have all the grace and rhythm of an epileptic sea monkey. And the curvier you are, the more you have to work with.

But let's be honest. I don't have curves. I have wiggly flab, and wiggly flab does not lend itself well to dance.

Right now, my flab knows how things stand. It knows it's expected to sit absolutely still at all times with its flabby little hands folded tightly and primly in its lap. No sudden movements. No peeking out from under sleeves or over waistbands. I make its life very unpleasant so that it doesn't get any grand ideas and start spreading out and loosening up.

If I start adorning it with clinking maillots and colorful, flowing scarves, the flab may begin to feel accepted and even loved. It will probably begin expressing itself all over my thighs, rear, and upper arms, and clamor for attention wherever we go. I will have loud, flamboyant flab. It will create scenes in public places, demanding lipstick and nachos.

But you never know…maybe that's a good thing.


Gary said...

Thou hast no wiggly flab.

Josh Max's blawg said...

Flab is fun. Ever bake bread? Isn't it great sport to knead, pound, throw in the air, play? Same with flab.

Although Gary says you have none.

Gary said...

Hey Josh. Dig the tunes, by the way. Please tell me the Maxes do a killer version of "Caledonia".

Nice guitar too.

momma-yaya said...

Well, my mom is taking belly dancing and I think she stole your flab and the flab of many others too. She's got enough flab for us all. Dance, girl, dance!

Frecklehead said...

EMBRACE the flab. Allow it to express itself freely and exuberantly.

You'll feel great, too. :)

KymberlieBlue said...

Chicketah, you may lackest flab, but there is nothing like throwing your hip and hearing the sound of jingling coins. Trust me, a little sass, a little slink, a little wow, I didn't know I could make that move... goes a long way when your treading the rough sales meeting waters.