Stitchpop

I normally try to make a point of not calling people out on this site because of things like ethics, common decency, and the fact that we are all beautiful and unique snowflakes.

But whatever.

Dear Anonymous Client:

You are annoyed with me because I gave you three days to review copy for a letter kit. You said, "THREE DAYS is not enough time for a careful review of copy!"

Just how carefully were you planning to review it?

Did you need to lay the pages out, end-to-end, in a brightly lit hallway so you could dance and flit among the paragraphs in your stocking feet? Did you need to analyze the placement and connotation of each preposition? Was there a need to scrutinize the font and point size of every letter?

Because sister, I wrote the thing in three days. I don't care who you are, if you need that much time to read a handful of generously spaced pages, your third grade teacher has failed you and that's the honest truth.

And it's not so much the fact that you're irritated with me about the short turnaround. I can understand that. It's the implication that I could have given you more time if I had only written it sooner. I'm sure you imagine me in my office shuffling papers around, rearranging paperclips, picking my fingernails until I sense that enough time has passed – now, now, if I give this letter kit to my client now I must ask for it back within THREE DAYS, and sweet Jesus, is it ever an emergency.

Good thing I didn't route it yesterday, or several weeks ago. Then there might have been enough time for a careful review of copy. Whatever all that entails.

Sincerely,
The Surliest Copywriter in the World