I'm happy to report we've had a V-Word breakthrough! I am no longer held hostage by the V-Word. In fact, I think I'm going to try to work it into most conversations I have with random people from here on out.
Here's what happened:
Matilda was off school today, so I swung by at noon to take her out to lunch and give Dad a break from the long day of Bored Matilda standing behind him at the computer silently watching him work. I am not insensitive to his plight.
We went to lunch. We were chatty. We joked. On the way home, Matilda picked up one of the dolls Gert had left in the back seat.
"Ew!" she shrieked. "This doll is not wearing any clothes!"
"This doll has… NIPPLES!"
"Well, so do YOU!" I giggled. "Just be glad it doesn't have a VAGINA!"
That's right, that was me. You should have heard how casual I sounded.
You might have thought I regularly shout "hey, vagina!" at passing cars.
Perhaps you would have thought I'd named my cat Regina Vagina.
You might have been inspired to discuss Georgia O'Keefe with me because you'd be confident I wouldn't bat an eye before wondering out loud if she intended this to so closely resemble a vagina (of course she did).
Now we can watch The Vagina Monologues! As well as any other Eve Ensler project!
I feel like I should be thanking the Vagina Fairy for bringing me the ability to discuss girl parts. But I know how she likes her anonymity. Hey... so would you, if you were the Vagina Fairy.