Friday, February 18, 2005

I'm happy to report we've had a V-Word breakthrough! I am no longer held hostage by the V-Word. In fact, I think I'm going to try to work it into most conversations I have with random people from here on out.

Here's what happened:

Matilda was off school today, so I swung by at noon to take her out to lunch and give Dad a break from the long day of Bored Matilda standing behind him at the computer silently watching him work. I am not insensitive to his plight.

We went to lunch. We were chatty. We joked. On the way home, Matilda picked up one of the dolls Gert had left in the back seat.

"Ew!" she shrieked. "This doll is not wearing any clothes!"

"So what?"

"This doll has… NIPPLES!"

"Well, so do YOU!" I giggled. "Just be glad it doesn't have a VAGINA!"

That's right, that was me. You should have heard how casual I sounded.

You might have thought I regularly shout "hey, vagina!" at passing cars.

Perhaps you would have thought I'd named my cat Regina Vagina.

You might have been inspired to discuss Georgia O'Keefe with me because you'd be confident I wouldn't bat an eye before wondering out loud if she intended this to so closely resemble a vagina (of course she did).

Now we can watch The Vagina Monologues! As well as any other Eve Ensler project!

I feel like I should be thanking the Vagina Fairy for bringing me the ability to discuss girl parts. But I know how she likes her anonymity. Hey... so would you, if you were the Vagina Fairy.


Angie said...

Next up? Vulva. It's so much uglier than Vagina. Vagina trips the light fantastic. Vulva sits on the sidewalk pouting and eating Funyons...

Poppymom said...

You're going to be streaking and screaming, "Vagina! Vagina!" on the local news next week, aren't you?

If I were the Vagina Fairy, I promise you I would wear vagina-shaped wings and carry a big banner that reads, "Hey! Look here! I'm the Vagina Fairy!"

Double Chubble said...
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Drama Queen said...

I'm late to the party, but I had something to say.

Let me tell you, "Vulva" sounds much funnier than "Vagina" when uttered by toddlers. You may not think so at the time, but it's absolutely histerical when said toddler shouts it to random strangers at the zoo. Yes, I speak from experience. My girls learned that word at 18 months and felt compelled to announce it frequently at diaper changes. And people wonder why I potty trained them early.

-Drama Queen